My Friday Approximation of JK Livin'

(Matteo also says "MAD PROPS!" to whomever's wireless connection my laptop is stealing out here by the pool and therefore allowing me to post this. Moshanda Maliki)

I woke up this morning puking. It was not because I decided to check out the newly renovated Dubliner last night. And yes, I did have an Irish Car Bomb. It was probably more to do with the fact that I love a good deal and therefore most of my meat purchases are of the mark-down variety. So I woke up on time for work. But on time and sick as a dog. My boss is out of town and I called him explaining my pukey situation. I told him I could work from home and asked him if he was cool with it. Luckily, he was.

So I got some work done. Then I decided to clean my embarrassingly untidy apartment. Bags of trash that I figured would eventually cry "uncle" and walk themselves to the dumpster got taken out. Dishes that were soaking for the better part of July were finally washed and dried. Then I went to the grocery store and bought meat that wasn't on the precipice of its' untimely demise. Then I watched a Jeopardy that wasn't Tivo'd. Then I did some more work. IM my poor friend Aaron to tell him of my plans for the day which basically entail: pool, floating in the pool, cool drinks, working from home, maybe napping later. He probably hates me. He should.

And then I decided to take my laptop out to the pool where I write to you now. While I was at the grocery store, I invested a wise $5 in an orange pool floaty with a built-in cup holder. So I made myself a nice refreshing summertime beverage, put on my swimsuit (I got a two piece with sailboats on it at Target on clearance that looks like something a six year old would wear because my taste in swimsuits has not evolved since 1987) and floated in the pool for an hour slathered in Hawaiian Tropic while sipping on my icy drink. Basically, if you would have told me when I was 6 years old back in Georgia that one day I would get paid to do exactly what I was doing 11 summers ago I probably would have said "ohhhh mahhhhh gawwwwwwwwddddddd" because I had a really thick Southern drawl back then.

I realized my legs were getting a little pink so I got out of the water for a little while and sat at the table with the big umbrella and typed out the start of a new column that I just got offered.

Got back on my floaty chariot and realized that, other than the fact that I inexplicably have the song "Holy Diver" stuck in my head on an unstoppable loop, today has been remarkably awesome. Remembered that my mom gave me free passes to the DMA and tonight is the Late Night series. Wonder if Ronnie James Dio would go with me if he were in town. Wonder what "you can see his stripes but you know he's clean" means.

Back is starting to get pink now so I get back under umbrella to check email, read Jezebel, burn some DVDs for friends and pet stray cats who live around the pool. One I call Acid Test and the other one is a regular around the pool I named Crack Fox when I first moved in. In case you are wondering where he got his name...