"I'm sorry that I'm not sorry that we won."

Yesterday's game, with the exception of some decent runs by Felix Jones and Marion Barber, was a disappointment. Yes, we won. But if "winning" involves two quarters of being a field goal away from losing to the Cincinnati Bengals, I am not happy with "winning." No one inspired much confidence and the blame can be spread around pretty evenly. Patrick Crayton dropping yet another easy pass only to, by sheer luck, redeem himself by being in the right place (the endzone) at the right time (milliseconds after a pass to Miles Austin bounced from Austin's hands and into the hapless hands of Crayton) for a touchdown.

But the elephant in the room after the game was over was Tony Romo. Yeah, the Cowboys won. Yes, the Bengals gave the Giants a scare too. But no Cowboys fan would say that Romo's performance yesterday was impressive. I don't know anyone who watched the game yesterday who didn't mention multiple times how Romo's performance was "scary" when thinking of next week's game against the Cardinals. I went to bed last night hoping that this morning's scan of the post-game comments would give me some reassurance straight from the lips of Romo. I was expecting to read words like "pressure" or "work to do" or "not good enough" or "shouldn't have been that close."

I can't remember the last time I was this infuriated by a player's comments. Seriously, Josh Howard can wipe his ass with the Constitution while goosestepping through a temple on Rosh Hashanah and I don't think I would be this upset. What has caused my blood to boil?

"I understand it's not the prettiest thing sometimes, but we did score 31 points and win the ball game," Romo said.

"Everybody on this team understand we have a lot of good players."

"I'm pretty sure we won the ballgame."

"If you never turn the ball over, you not going to be that good."

"You'd love to never have a turnover, but that's unrealistic."

"I'm sorry that I'm not sorry that we won."

Tones, you cannot possibly be as sorry as I am now. All the fun that everyone has had at your expense over your non-football related romantic adventures or your ill-timed vacations should be nothing compared to the wrath you might soon experience from Cowboys fans. It's funny to give you guff about your sophomoric tastes in women and houses. But at least after all the teasing was done, all Cowboys fans knew that you were humbled by the fact that, by all accounts, you should be giving golf lessons, living in a one bedroom apartment in Carrolton and driving a late model Jeep. But instead you are the millionaire quarterback for the Dallas fucking Cowboys. Wow. And you didn't take that for granted. The last thing you would do is give a big shrug and "meh" to an obviously substandard performance. You clearly would respond to such a situation by reassuring Cowboys fans that you realize that you did not perform particularly solidly and let them know that you were determined to fix the streakiness of your performance over the past two weeks. So, with our confidence in you collectively restored, you would continue to practice hard and come home and knock back a few Lime Cactus Michelob Ultras and watch Happy Gilmore again.

But instead, you think there was nothing wrong with yesterday's game. A win's a win. They can't all be pretty. At the end of the day, there's a W next to us. At the end of the season, you just remember which games you won and which games you lost. Guess what? I think that is bullshit and you know it. Whether or not you choose or care to acknowledge it is your call. But if you are totally happy with your performance and nearly losing to the winless Bengals, you deserve every bit of bad press and Papa Joe jokes that can be thrown your way. I don't care how many stranded motorists you help or how many Pepsi rewards points you have, you are either delusional or don't care if you are unwilling to admit that you have not performed well over the past two weeks. It's not in your contract that you must humbly genuflect in front of Cowboys fans and ask them to keep their faith in you. But your new logic that somehow turnovers mean that you are a better team? Wow.

You say,
"I'm pretty sure we won the ballgame."

I say,
"I'm pretty sure if you keep playing like you have over the past two weeks, that will become a far less common occurrence."

Have fun ring shopping with Jess. If you can't win a ring, might as well buy one, huh?