YOU GO LIVE IN UTAH: July 2007

I realized something the other night. The Cult is the only band that is played regularly (almost every night) on VH1 Classic's "Metal Mania" and "120 Minutes" video blocks. Well, let me ammend that. "Fire Woman" by The Cult is played on both shows. Every night. Seriously, The Cult actually made other videos so why play "Fire Woman" exclusively? But this particular video has not only reignited my long-dormant love of The Cult it has also started me down the path to forgiving Ian Astbury for pretending to be Jim Morrison in that awful Doors "reunion" tour. That was a really bad idea.

Just like I can tolerate kids who pretend they're dancing at a disco in Berlin right now even though it's just the sewage-scented floor of the Cavern, I ADORE the idea of a kid from Cheshire developing an obsession with Native American culture and growing his hair out like Cher's and wearing black leather fringe outfits and cowboys hats. It's a two way street. Also, I remember watching this video as a very very young girl and feeling the first pangs of "I think I like those kind of boys" and telling my Mom that David Bowie from Labyrinth was no longer my first choice for a future husband. Twenty years later, I can't say I've shaken it. This further proves that in some ways, you can never take all the Garland out of a girl.

Also, Mastadon and my friend Sean may in some small way be responsible for this recent rediscovery and reignited hesher passion.

Did I mention I also found myself thinking "Glen Danzig actually looks kind of good in the 'Mother' video" during a Metal Mania video block this weekend? What the fuck is happening to me?

Let me start out by saying that I am in no way a person out to tell people their idea of "fun" is wrong. Whatever makes you happy is cool with me as long as it's not akin to Michael Vick's idea of fun. That being said, I am more than a bit apprehensive about the Dallas scensters' loving embrace of Brooklyn-esque dance rock of 2001-2004. Is this because I actually lived in New York City in 2003 and saw the climax and rapid denouement of this movement? Probably. Did I think the movement was particularly interesting to begin with? Most definitely not.

I am a fan of quite a few acts that would be lumped into whatever this current/not-so-current trend actually consists of. I think I may have given up on keeping a name tagged to it after electroclash though blog-house is by far the funniest of the names I have seen. My main problem with the music is that I can in no way differentiate a Britt Daniels remix of an LCD Soundstystem song from a mash up of a popular modern R&B hit and an old Rapture song. The beats are too similar and the kitch value only holds my attention for 30 minutes max.

BUT, the music is the least of my problems with this whole thing. Now most times, people would claim it's all about the music and frown upon someone talking more about the clothes, accessories, pouting and posturing than the tunes. In this case though, the clothes and accessories and bandanas and neon colored wayfarers are so integral to the whole thing. Everything about the look is meant to convey a "fuck it man, I comedy dress" sort of attitude. Dallas, you've gotten an American Apparel. Congrats. Why make every night out your own personal AA catalog photo shoot? If the movement is so much about fashion then surely it's a disservice to the movement to be dressed in 2003's cast-offs? Also, you mostly just look silly. Because you're trying to look like you don't give a fuck. You're trying to give the camera a dead stare. But you changed ten times before you went out. Those jeans would have cost you more than you make in a week if not for your employee discount. You're not taking the train home. You're taking 75 home (or you know, Munger maybe?) so at some point you are going to have to take off your sunglasses to be able to drive. Kind of ruins the whole thing.

What amuses me is that many of these people who love this stuff are probably pretty smart people. But guess what? About 18 years ago, there was another group of people who wore neon clothing and threw the horns and screamed "fuck yeah!" all the time. Those people were hair metal fans. Poison said "Don't need nothin' but a good time, how can I resist? Ain't lookin' for nothin' but a good time and it don't get better than this." That's pretty akin to the general attitude of the new crop of Brooklyn-looking scensters. But no one looks back at Heavy Metal Parking Lot and says "man, those kids really had something going." It's not revolutionary. I'm all for having fun and getting drunk but pictures of you and your friends holding your drinks in the air with your mouth open don't tell me anything other than there were beverages available for purchase and something caused you to open your mouth wide. These aren't going to be the shots they use in a "I Love the 'Aughts" kiddos. They're just another Heavy Metal Parking Lot.