Monday, January 7, 2008

If this Cowboys season were a Celtic Frost song, which one would it be?

New York Giants v. Dallas Cowboys at Texas Stadium. I like it. Washington scared me more than the Giants do. We beat them both times in the regular season. We had the bye. We are playing at home. Terrell Owens should be able to play. Jeremy Shockey is out. These are all very good things.

Do I like that Tony Romo has spent the bye in Mexico with Jessica Simpson and the entire creepy Simpson clan? No, not really. Do I wish that instead of doing that he was preparing for the first round of the playoffs? Yes. Do I like that Roy Williams can't understand simple things such as "No horse collar - makes legs go break-y"? No, not really. Do I like having scored 1 rushing yard against the Redskins in the final regular season game? Nope, I don't think scoring 1 yard on the ground is very cool. Do I wish that I could have faith in the belief that Terry Glenn has healed enough to play well? Yes, but I kind of don't.

But still for some reason I know that if we win against the Giants, I will not care about any of those things. Jessica Simpson can sing the national anthem with a headset mic on whilst doing topless kartwheels across midfield at halftime for all I care. I just want a Super Bowl party, a Super Bowl tshirt, a Super Bowl parade, a Super Bowl half-day of work to attend said parade and perhaps a Super Bowl car tipping.

Speaking of tipping over a car, I apologize to whomever owns the Hummer I flipped over last week when the Dallas Mavericks sodomized the Golden State Warriors. What can I say? I was excited.

If Dallas goes to the Super Bowl, you may want to just drop me a brief line with your car make, model, color and plate number to avoid finding your car overturned and smoldering. I can't promise anything though.

PS - Jason Witten, please stop vacaying with Tony Romo during the season. You guys can't wait a month to take a fucking trip to Cabo? Is Senor Frog's closing soon? I don't feel good about the Giants game. I take it all back.


Mark said...

I don't like it at all. We've beaten them twice and I don't see it happening again. The Redskins beat us cause we were thinking about the playoffs. The Giants are a far superior team. I don't feel good about next Sunday whatsoever.

doberman said...

I think its "gaining a yard" not "scoring a yard"

amandacobra said...

wait, you mean you can't score a yard or score a pass completion or score a first down? oh wait....