Monday, December 22, 2008

If Jerry Jones Happens to be a Big Fan of My Blog...

Yes, the Cowboys are still in the playoff hunt. Mind you, that’s not anything to do with their ability to play good football. It’s mostly because Jeff Garcia sacrificed his beautiful face only to end up losing and allowing the Cowboys to remain playoff alive. Seriously, I can’t watch that postgame press conference but I was able to find a picture of Jeff Garcia immediately after speaking to the press, sans suit.

Ok so the Cowboys could potentially win the ability to yet again lose in the first round of the playoffs! And the route they would take to get to the playoffs would involve beating the Eagles in Philadelphia and quite possibly being pelted with various car parts if the Cowboys get a big lead early enough. That’s a thrilling thought. Well, the beating Philly part.

But no Cowboys fan was feeling like this on Saturday night. Some of the more reactionary fans/friends of mine declared that they wouldn’t even watch the Philly game. This same person also swore off a favorite bar of ours after the karaoke DJ didn’t let him sing before last call. But Saturday night was not fun. In fact, much like you would adjourn to a nearby restaurant to tell misty-eyed stories about your friend and how great she was right before she became a suicide bomber. I think it’s interesting some of the points that came up during this football wake that just happened to be occurring while Texas Stadium was being put out of its’ misery. I think it hits on some very important fears and concerns all Cowboys fans harbor.

1. Texas Stadium – Philip thinks that this shouldn’t be the last year at Texas Stadium and that it’s still the #2 profit-turning stadium in the league. I have never been to Texas Stadium and have only heard horror stories about the filth and disrepair it fell into over the past 10 years. But while I can’t imagine it being very salvageable this late in the process of decaying, I don’t understand why it could not have been refurbished and renovated over a few off-seasons. Everyone at the table agreed. It’s an iconic stadium. Why did it have to fall to the recent Dallas mentality of knocking down anything with any history in order to build something newer, shinier and with bigger TVs instead of being a Wrigley Field or Lambeau for America’s Team?

2. Arlington? – Nothing made the entire table more frustrated and angry than the fact that the opportunity to have the Dallas Cowboys play in Dallas was on the table and the city blew it. Well, Laura Miller blew it. It boggles the mind to think how great a stadium in downtown Dallas could have been. Knock down the Cotton Bowl or build something just south of the Trinity to bring commerce south of the river. I know it’s about four years too late to have this discussion but the thought of Cowboy fans driving to mothereffing Arlington to watch a game is ridiculous to me and all the fans I know. The Dallas Cowboys is something so iconic that it’s probably one of the first three things people will say when playing word association with “Dallas” so it’s just completely embarrassing that the city didn’t do everything it could to bring them back home, so to speak.

3. Tickets – Well, I should amend that. I say that the thought of driving out to Arlington is ridiculous to me but it’s a moot point since I know I will never be able to afford to see a game at the new stadium. I was never able to afford to go see a game at Texas Stadium. It’s really disheartening to think of tickets to see your favorite football team in the same way you think of the Neiman Marcus Christmas catalog that comes out every year. Gee, wouldn’t it be amazing to own a life-sized replica of me made out of Legos or a child-sized helicopter for the kids? Yeah, it would and so would seeing a Cowboys game be. I understand that the Mavs were not the hottest ticket in town when Cuban started his fan-friendly pricing for last minute seats. But to his credit, even after they became the hottest ticket in town, you could still walk to the AAC and fork over $20 for a ticket as the game started. Jerry Jones is a businessman. I understand that. He’s trying to make as much money as he can. But in this season of bleach-drinking economy woes, I can’t see how anything about the new stadium (save its’ laser-shooting wheelchair ramps) that is fan-friendly.

4. Seriously, tickets – At no point was this issue hammered home more succinctly than when our table, which consisted of 6 die-hard Cowboys fans lamented the fact that no one at our table had ever been to a regular season Cowboys game. We talked about how we had planned, both last season and this season, to go before they moved to Pocket-rape Dome but could never afford it. Then Philip said technically he had been to a Cowboys game at Texas Stadium, though it was a preseason game. He told us the story of how he and his uncle had tickets which Philip had in his back pocket and which were swiped as they walked up to the entrance. He said he and his uncle were already there so they went ahead and shelled out $120 for two new tickets. It was at that point in the story that Courtney offered up, “That’s what’s wrong right there. Two preseason tickets are $120!”

5. Stop hiring jackasses – I have written many times about Jerry Jones’ belief that any press is good press and that controversy makes for a more interesting football team. Philip made a great point and one with which we all agreed. During the montage at halftime of all the memorable moments at Texas Stadium, they included the George Teague hit on Terrell Owens several times. Philip noticed that even now that T.O. has been a Cowboy for a few years and paid a show-y apology to the star at midfield, it feels great to see someone knock the shit out of him. It feels even better to see that it’s a Cowboy. Now, I personally think that Terrell Owens overreaches the term “egomaniac” and is actually a straight-up truly weird dude. But that doesn’t stop the fact that he is clearly headed towards doing in Dallas what he did in San Francisco and Philadelphia. He will never be a tenth as concerned about the team as he is about his own fame. And instead of having to delve any further into this theory about Jerry hiring jackasses, I will just say “Pacman” and be done with it. Now, on the flipside of this you have Roy Williams. A Texas native, a UT alum and a genuinely hard working and talented dude. You KNOW he wants to be here. He played his high school championship game at Texas Stadium. He was rescued from the bowels of HMS Detroit Lions to come back home and play for America’s Team, his team. I believe with all my heart that Roy Williams not only is capable of being the kind of receiver Terrell Owens is now (not that great) but I more confident in his desire to be here and to be a Cowboy and to contribute to the team. Not like his pro football career is just a way to get the word out about his birthday party.

6. Who told Tony Romo where West Village was? – Alright, I know that I said that I wouldn’t pick on Tony Romo anymore. And yes, he’s a good guy, human-speaking. But I consider those two or three bonehead 30 yard passes to no one on 3rd and 2 to be my excuse to make this observation. Tony Romo “White Backwards Baseball Hat at Press Conference” 2007 season record: 13-3. Tony Romo “Newsboy Cap and Designer Leather Jacket at Press Conference” 2008 season record: 9-6. That’s all I’m saying.


Tom said...

Tickets are getting out of control, but as long as there's people lining up to buy them, the prices will continue to rise.
Comparing Mavs tickets to Cowboys tickets isn't apples to apples. There are 41 Mavs home games in the regular season, compared to just eight for the Cowboys. So a cheap Mavs ticket will always be cheaper than a cheap Cowboys ticket.
I've found some great last-minute deals on, and your admission is guaranteed.

Spamboy said...

To be correct, blame the Dallas County Commishioners, not Laura Miller. They were the primary impediments to Dallas securing the Cowboys.

Luis Guzman said...

Why is it that the Latino Community must constantly be demonized by racist anglo perceptions of us? To sarcastically suggest that Jeff Garcia somehow looks like a troll because he is of Hispanic descent is not only highly incredibly offensive but also suggests that you think all Latinos look like trolls. Surely you can see how this might hurte the feelings of Latinos!? When you eat a Fine Meal prepared by an esteemed member of the Latino Community do you think to yourself that you are eating a meal prepared by a troll? You probabaly do!
Please show some respect, for we are all created by God as equals, under this nation! Thankyou for your time.

dante said...

The Texas Stadiums is iconic! They should keep it! But PacMan IS the best too!