Thursday, October 15, 2009

I…Uhhh..These Cowboys…What They Need…To…Do….(sigh)/LET’S GO MAV-ERICKS, LET’S GO!

I have reached critical mass of apathy with the Cowboys. There’s nothing to say about them that anyone hasn’t said already. Wade….should…fired….year and a half ago. Tony Romo…shaky….inconsistent…at best. Five off-sides calls is…gah. Marion Barber and Felix Jones…hurt…always. Roy Williams underperforming and….Jason Witten not getting the kind of….last year…celebrating an overtime win against the winless Kansas… in the end zone…….zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

This is a very odd feeling. Usually, I have poorly-thought-out opinions to share when a team is doing well. And I have even more of them when a team is doing poorly. But Jerry Jones has shown everyone in Dallas that his priorities are, in this order: the new stadium, making money at the new stadium, selling jerseys, selling Party Passes, selling suites, selling Papa John’s pizza, selling Ford trucks, keeping his face taut and perhaps a little bit of football.

So, for the first time in a long while, I have become detached from the whole thing. I’m no fair-weather fan by any means. I will still watch every game. If the Cowboys can, miracle of all miracles, pull a better-than-.500 record out of the charred remains of this season, I will be happy for them. But this team, my team, doesn’t deserve my rapt attention. Before this season started, I made all kinds of plans to attend any home games I could on a Party Pass and maybe even shell out the big bucks for whatever home game fell closest to my birthday. But in a real kick to the junk of Jerry Jones, I’ve come to the decision that this team doesn’t deserve any of my meager paycheck. I relish in the idea of the Cowboys getting so bad that the Terrordome sits half-empty on Sundays, as it’s the only thing that Jerry cares about or would make him take any notice. I’ve never been a jersey-wearing gal but at this point, I’d make my own bootleg Bobby Carpenter jersey to not only take money out of the G-string of Jerry’s mistress but to celebrate the figurehead of mediocrity on this most mediocre of teams.

If the Cowboys are gonna “meh” out on this season, expect me to act in a similar fashion. Other than some quotes from Keith Brooking, Martellus Bennett and Miles Austin, no one on this team gives a flying dog turd about how they’re underperforming this year. In fact, Tony Romo had some quote after the Chiefs game along the lines of, “If we keep getting it done like that, I have a good feeling about our chances this season.” Really? Really? Your chances for what exactly? Normally, a quote like that would infuriate me to the point of drawing dongs and mouth sores and blacked out teeth on a picture of Tony Romo for this blog entry. But I just don’t care anymore. Be happy wallowing in false positivity and I’ll be happy knowing that I can devote my full time and attention to the Mavs by Christmas.

1 comment:

Beano said...

How about an article on Jim Belushi?