Saturday, January 26, 2008

My Best Friend Chad's Thoughts on the Mavs v. Lakers Game

This is my best friend Chad. He is probably the funniest person I know. He is a retardedly talented musician who twinkles the ivories for such bands as Budapest One, The Drams and The King Bucks. He never can decide if his favorite nickname for his dearest friends is "you old salty bastard" or "you old cooch" (yeah, we've brought that up but he's sticking with it). If you're ever having a bad day, you can call Chad's phone and listen to his outgoing voicemail message and suddenly your frown has been turned upside down.

I like watching sports with Chad because the opinions he expresses during games are 10000000x more interesting than anything Dale Hansen has said mid-bender. Chad hates the Fox Football robot guy who points and struts in the lower left corner of the screen during NFL games. Chad LOVES Patrick Crayton.

So I asked Chad to watch the Mavs v. Lakers game last night with me so that I could take notes and finally document his hot Mavs opinions. He doesn't know I have done this and I hope he's not mad.

Chad's Thoughts:

on Kobe: "Kobe is ok. He's got some little moves."

on Avery Johnson: "Cool. Sharp dresser."

on the Mavs getting in a rut and missing 6 shots in a row: "Come on someone. Do something."

on Jet's subsequent long 3 that went in: "HA HA! YES! SUCCESS!"

on Barea (who is now his favorite Mav player): "Barea is young and spunky and has things to prove."

on Mavs Man:

"I don't know if I can get behind that dude."

on Trenton Hassell's name: "It's like a bad cop show. 'DAMMIT, HASSELL!'"

on Devin Harris: "Smooth and graceful"

on a Lakers miss: "Nice try there, wise guys!"

on the hard foul that Dampier delivered to Mbenga (or as Chad pronounces it, "Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmbenga!") in the 3rd quarter: "A sandwich is a sandwich but a Manwich is a meal. That was a Manwich foul."

on Dirk's flailing third attempt for a rebound in the 4th quarter: "He's like a bear in the woods."

Some other miscellaneous Chad quotes from the game:

"I think razzle dazzle begat razzmatazz."

"Everyone is turning into rodeo clowns"

"Dirk. The german pattycake."

Also, after the game Chad issues a Big Buck Hunter challenge. The challenge was met and during a particularly intense round of Big Buck Hunter, Chad screamed "Fuck you, you little cunt. I want to eat your meat" at the animated whitetail deer running across the video game screen.

Yeah, my friend Chad is pretty rad.

1 comment:

pimplomat said...

"Hey you old-timer, let's raise a glass!"

Chad is the best.