When I was little and I got really excited about something, I would tug on my clothing too!

I'll admit it. I am not ashamed. I didn't high five my friend Danny when Dirk hit that three with 0.9 seconds left. Nope. We actually high TEN-ed. I don't just hand out high TENs willy-nilly. I might also take this opportunity to point out that if you watch the jersey tugging moment right after he sinks the shot, you will notice what I personally think is the coolest thing about Dirk. He kind of has a beer belly. Which makes me think that he's probably the kind of dude that could really get down with a little bit of Big Buck Hunter.

I wish there was a more cautious way to say "cautiously optimistic" to properly express the trepidation/optimism cocktail I've got running through my veins about this Mavs playoff season. It's like "double condoms" optimism. It's like "driving on residential streets very slowly with your hazards on when driving on a donut" optimism. If you are at all familiar with Albertson's extremely slow check cashing system, I would say that this playoff series is going to feel like when you write a check at Albertson's three days before you get paid. Theoretically, you should be able to get away with it.

And if I cared about either baseball or hockey, I would be super stoked that all our city's franchises pulled off victories yesterday. Wait, what am I saying? I like parades. Go us! Also, one time I saw Daryl "Razor" Reaugh in person and he looked exactly like Morrissey. I just wanted to throw that out there.