Tuesday, October 14, 2008


Let me set the scene for the conversation I just overheard downstairs in my building. There were three parents (two moms and one dad), all in their early 40's, having a chat about their their children. Our office building is a fairly nice office building in Downtown Dallas. One of the mothers was talking about how disgusted she was that there was talk of changing her child's school's sex education program. She insisted that the task of educating kids about sex should be left to the parents and that she was a strong advocate for abstinence-only education. The other parents agreed and said something about "liberals trying to tell kids to go out and have sex."

Normally that kind of backwards logic would have been all I needed to tune out the rest of the conversation. But then, the other mother countered with the following glimpse into her parenting style:

"My daughter is in high school and all her friends are guys so we have all these boys coming over. So I told all the boys that I knew what they were thinking and just in case one of them got a wild hair and decided to try to do something with my daughter, I told them I have gardening shears and sharp kitchen knives. I told them I could hack away at them and I have three friends who can bury a body in five different counties where no one will find them and that no one would miss them. I think I took care of that situation."

So recap:

1. These parents strongly believe that abstinence-only education is the way to go and are alarmed about the prospect of teenagers having access to or knowledge of contraceptive methods

2. They are, however, completely fine with making threats of gruesome, psychopathic murder against these boys who have come over to their house to hang out with a friend who is female

3. The woman's three friends have an exact number of counties in which they can hide hacked up bodies which is greater than 4 but less than 6. Are these all neighboring counties or are they spread out? Like Collin and Denton county are okay but, man, have you ever tried to hide a corpse in Montague County? Yeah, didn't think so!

Apparently, threats of grizzly murder are scary but not nearly as scary as giving a teenager condoms and teaching them about how to avoid pregnancy.

1 comment:

Tommy said...

oh man...I hope this wave of ignorance passes before my daughter hits her teens. Otherwise, I'm gonna be called all sorts of bad names for not telling her that kissing will make her pregnant.