Saturday, April 25, 2009

Game 4 - Bea Arthur Tribute Game

I was a little bit worried about this 3pm Saturday game business. Because it's not like football or even Sunday basketball, where 3pm sounds like a perfectly reasonable time for a sporting match to happen. Maybe this is why I have never been able to get into college football too much. Here's the thing: I got shit to do, man. There is a narrow window in the seven days that occur in one week in which I actually get things done. That window tends to be the hours between 11am and 6pm on Saturday. I'm a machine in that small window. I'm a coupon-cutting, grocery-shopping, food-cooking, car-washing, laundry-doing beast from mid afternoon to sundown on Saturday.

So a 3pm Saturday Mavs-Spurs playoff game really knocks the cool outta my walk. I would like to add that I was at Cafe Brazil until 4:45am this morning. No, I wasn't drunk. Just one of those nights where we all ended up at Cafe Brazil after last call and before you know it, you're eating a turkey sandwich at 4am. I say all of this because I officially handed today it's ass on a plate.

Still managing to be up and out of the house before noon despite my late night carb load, I cleaned out my car, did all my grocery shopping, changed a broken taillight, made a loaf of bread and homemade tortilla soup and sewed a new curtain all before the first quarter was over.

It's the start of the fourth quarter and the Mavs are up by 9. I would love to see the shooting percentage for both teams. It really seems like neither team is able to make anything go. But I have also realized that I love Ryan Hollins more than I realized. I don't even mind that Dirk is colder and deader than Charlton Heston's hands.

As I mentioned in the title, Bea Arthur passed away this morning so I would like to think of this game as being like when Paul Simon played "The Boxer" on Saturday Night Live right after 9/11 to heal a grieving nation. With the Mavs being Paul Simon. I really loved "Golden Girls" when I was kid. I even liked the spin-off when one of them left and the remaining ones opened a hotel in South Beach (the internet is telling me it was called "The Golden Palace"). If you get a drink or two in me, I will even recall a semi-dirty joke from "The Golden Palace" that I still remember from one episode that was almost Bill Hick-sian to my 7 year-old self.

Also, Matthew Stafford went to Detroit Suck City (duh) in the NFL draft. More importantly, my favorite Georgia player since Herschel "I'm Sad" Walker, Knowshon Moreno, is going to be a Bronco. Michael Crabtree is going to San Francisco and well, frankly, those are the only people that I know anything about or care about until I hear what the Cowboys are going to do.

I wonder if I can Swiffer with a noisemaker in each hand?

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