While I have way too short an attention span to actually live blog about a Mavericks game, I will come close because this has actually been a fairly eventful game and we're only midway through the second.

1. Josh Howard is having a baby. Not in a Junior man-with-child sort of way. He's not in the starting lineup because he's busy becoming a father.

2. Devean George started in his place and yet they did NOT show the home team introduction therefore I did not get to see Devean George's intoductory bulldog dance. Which is kind of bullshit.

3. It's Diop's birthday. Happy 25 years of being alive! Now stop getting stupid fouls. You're doing well tonight and (according to what I just heard) managed to rebuff a cheesy Bob Ortegel joke made at your expense. Good for you.

4. Austin Croshere. What the fuck? I don't like to eat my words and while I'm not exactly eating them, I'm sort of starting to look at them like they're the bowl of chips and I may not be able to wait on my entree. There's 6:21 left in the second and Croshere has made two 3 pointers and gotten two key rebounds. And is kind of being a dick when it comes to guarding which is my favorite kind of player. The basketball equivalent of the guy who monopolizes dinner conversation, talks over people, tells bad jokes then bolts before the check comes and doesn't leave enough money for his dinner. I may be hungry as my analogies reveal. HOLY SHIT Croshere just made another fucking 3 point shot. My feet are getting cold which is a clear sign that hell is freezing over.

I need to eat and figure out what bench player I will rag on now that Croshere has proved me wrong.

The world's most uninteresting rematch ever

Here's the pitch:

A REMATCH OF THE 2006 FINALS!!!! A CHANCE FOR THE MAVS TO PROVE THEMSELVES AND SHOW HOW MUCH THEY'VE GROWN AND IMPROVED SINCE THE FINALS!!!!!!

But then everyone noticed that Pat Riley was gone, Shaq was out and Dwanye (seriously, if my name had been a dyslexic mistake I would have corrected it a long time ago) Wade still had an ouchie in his wrist. So then everyone realized that it really wasn't that big of a deal. Even during the Lakers game, they were talking about how Sunday's game with Miami would be "emotional". It wasn't really. It also reminded me that while I was stoked to see the Mavericks in the Finals last year, I actually didn't think it was that exciting of a match up. How could it have been anything but lackluster? Seven games with the Spurs including some double overtime action? Six games against Phoenix whose team included the league's two-time MVP? I hardly think that playing in the finals against the guy who made Kazaam is as gripping as a seven game dogfight with our in-state rivals.

That aside, I respectfully ask Commissioner Stern or his secretary or whoever it is that makes the NBA schedule to knock this "Sunday games at noon" bullshit off. I am monumentally lazy on Sundays. Having to be concious, alert, upright and aware of the basic rules of basketball is too much to ask. So Commish Stern, you either provide me with a TiVo and a Starbucks gift card or start the games at a reasonable hour.

Keith Van Horn: Another Kidnapping Victim?

What happened to Keith Van Horn? D-League? Towel washer? Sub-saharan expansion team? Please someone find him and let him know I always thought he was the coolest Mormon, Babyface-loving guy to ever play in the NBA. Ok, thanks.

Ummm, other than that I guess the only thing I can say is:

Welcome to one of the more techincally inept and statistically challenged blogs loosely concerning the Dallas Mavericks.

Mission statement aside, a little more information. I like the Mavericks. I didn't like them in the early 1980's because I was more focused on learning my ABCs and walking upright. However, I will gladly produce for anyone who has doubts about the length of my fandom a scan of a picture of me circa 1992. My outfit: Long denim "jorts", faux Birkenstock sandals, John Lennon holographic-peace-sign-on-the-lenses-sunglasses and a XL Dallas Mavericks "Young Guns" t-shirt (tucked in but bloused within an inch of its' life). That's how much I care about what you think of my dedication. But seriously, please don't get all "you only started liking them in the 'augts" around here. Now, in case you were wondering, the following are the reasons I started this blog:

1. I already watch every Mavs game.
2. I never turn my laptop off.
3. I liked reading about and commenting on Mavs games on We Shot JR.
4. I liked the fact that the some of the more delicate indie kids got their panties in a knot when people started talking about sports on We Shot JR.
5. More people need to talk about how goofy Manu Ginobli acts sometimes.

Also, on days when there are no games and there's no Roy Tarpley-esque shenanigans to report I will probably end up talking about some band or some album or some dumb shit I saw some kid wearing the other day. Fun!